


Driver’s Ed

by cmpeabooty



Series: Raijin Shenanigans [4]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Gen, I hate myself, Why Did I Write This?, have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-13 19:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmpeabooty/pseuds/cmpeabooty
Summary: izayas parents are away from home on business too often, and izaya needs someone to teach him to drive





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i tweeted this as a joke, but then it was requested and i couldn’t resist.  
i dont know anything about japan’s driving laws/driving schools so i apologize if i butcher everything.  
enjoy whatever this is

“Slow down! Slow down slow down slow doooown!”

“Kine we’re in an empty parking lot and barely moving.”

“Quiet. Which one of us has been driving for ten years?”

Izaya sighs,_ This was a terrible idea..._

Originally, his mother was teaching him to drive. She claimed he should know, despite the fact that they live in Tokyo and can get anywhere by train, or taxi. 

This backfired when she had to go out of town nearly every other week, causing Izaya to forget whatever she taught him. 

“I’m sorry, Iza-chan, this is my fault. I know! Ask Shinra-kun’s father!”

That’s an even worse idea than what Izaya came up with. 

Izaya has no other adults in his life (aside from teachers) other than the men of the Awakusu-kai. 

So he figured Kine would be his best bet as a driving instructor. The man has become sort of an older brother to Izaya (not that he’ll ever hear that, especially not from a izaya). 

Oh boy. Oh my. _Kami of driver’s ed, save me. _

Kine was more high-strung and stressed than Izaya’s mother was. Clutching the oh-shit handle above the door in one hand, gripping his seat in the other. 

Any time Izaya have the car even a little bit of speed, Kine would screech for him to slow down. Visibly sweating. 

Izaya is ready to call it quits. He’d have an easier time if Shizu-chan was teaching him. 

A week or so later, Kine is driving through Ikebukuro’s busy streets. Izaya and Shiki are in the backseat, discussing Izaya’s next job for the Awakusu. 

They’ve just finished going over everything, when Izaya gets a bad idea. He grins.

“Hey Kine, can I drive?”

Kine splutters and Shiki sighs.

“You can’t drive an Awakusu executive around Izaya! Besides Shiki has other business today.”

“Aww come on! I wanna test my skills on the road!”

Izaya pouts in the backseat. Waves of childlike disappointment radiating off him.

Shiki sighs again, “Go ahead Orihara, I don’t care.” Shiki may look hard and scary, but he has no strength in the face of the sad puppy dog look. Akane has him whipped.

Izaya instantly brightens, while Kine starts to sweat. 

But, he can’t go against an executive, even if the request/order was the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. 

Izaya gets behind the wheel, and chaos ensues.

Initially, Kine tries to remain unphased in front of his superior, but once Izaya hits the gas, the stress takes over, and the yelling begins.

Shiki doesn’t know if he should laugh or jump out of the moving vehicle. Kine is... entertaining to say the least, but Izaya seems to have a fondness for hairpin turns.

_ Oh Christ._

This event resulted in a scratched and dented yakuza car, Kine retiring from driving instructor, and Shiki taking up the role. Reluctantly.

Izaya is actually a decent driver, considering. He just can’t make turns for shit.

So Shiki takes Izaya to some out-of-the-way backroads. Backroads that twist and band and turn for miles.

“Jesus Christ, Shiki he’s gonna kill us!”

Now, just because Kine retires from instructor, that doesn’t mean he isn’t still tagging along.

“Calm down, Kine, you’re being-“

Shiki was going to say Kine is being dramatic, but Izaya helpfully interrupted by taking a sharp turn going 30 miles an hour. Shiki thinks the car went on two wheels at one point. 

Izaya is having a blast. He’s finally getting free reign on an empty street. He doesn’t notice the insane grin on his face.

_Damn adrenaline junkie..._ “Izaya. Slow the car down when you turn. Or are you trying to kill an Awakusu executive?”

Blinking, Izaya slows. “...No fun.” 

Izaya complains, but really, Shiki is a dream of a teacher compared to Kine He is calm, deliberate, and best of all, he doesn’t scream. 

He did get pretty pale at a few of Izaya’s turns, but Izaya won’t tell.

In the end, Izaya doesn’t actually manage to get his license until he’s 19 years old. 

Shiki did teach him every once in a while, but really his mother was the teacher. 

Currently, Izaya (25 now) is driving his mother’s old car, a burgundy Nissan. It almost didn’t start because it sat in a parking garage so long. 

He lives in Tokyo. Why would he need a car?

His mother asked him to pick up the twins after school, they’re going to the family apartment. Where they grew up, and where the twins still live.

Family dinner or something. Izaya plans on annoying his father. Maybe get a little drunk.

He rolls up to Raira, parking his car in a no-park-zone.

_ They should be walking out soon_...

Within a few minutes of scrolling through twitter, Izaya hears the final bell ring, and students begin filtering out from the school.

Izaya soon sees his sisters approaching.

So, he rolls all the windows down, hooks his phone up to the aux cord, and hits play on his new favorite song.

Deepthroat by Cupcakke.

Volume blasting, every single student can hear it. Including his sisters.

“WHY IZAYA TURN IT OFF NOW OH MY GOD!”

Mairu is screaming at him, Kururi looks aghast, and Izaya is laughing as half the student body stares in horror. 

Time to head home~


	2. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part two because i can

Izaya sincerely regrets ever making fun of Kine when he taught Izaya to drive. He gets it now. 

Hand firmly wrapped around the oh-shit handle, other hand discreetly gripping the back of his thigh, Izaya’s entire body slides into the door as Mairu, cackling, flies around a corner. 

Izaya likes to think he’s doing a good job of hiding his stress. Kururi smirking at him in the rear view mirror says he isn’t so stealthy. 

_Why, whywhywhywhyyyy...._

Izaya doesn’t drive. He live in Tokyo, why should he drive? He doesn’t mind train and taxi fares. 

Besides, on the train he can observe humans. 

But business has been slow lately, so he’s bored. Shizu-chan having gone on some job for his brother.

So when his mother called him up and asked for a teeny tiny favor, he accepted, without knowing what she would ask for.

He really wishes he didn’t.

“The girls are fifteen now, can you take them out and start teaching them to drive?”

_Hell no. Heeeellll no._

But then his mom sounded _so_ _disappointed_, and he just couldn’t refuse her. 

“Thank you, Iza-chan~!”

Izaya freezes, his phones volume was really high, but... Namie didn’t hear that, did she?

He slowly turns his head towards his right, as snickering reaches his ears. 

He glares at his secretary, who is fully laughing now. His face heats up. 

“Okay, okay, I’m guessing you’ll be taking the afternoon off then yes?” Izaya doesn’t answer her. 

“I’ll be going then. But you better still pay me for the whole day, _Iza-chan_.”

_ Thunk_. 

A knife imbedded in the wall next to the door, nearly hitting Namie’s hand. 

He hears her laughing still, as the door swings shut behind her. 

He’s docking her pay dammit. 

“Mairu, please, for the love of all that is holy, slow. Down.”

Mairu giggles, like an insane person, and just says “watch this.”

What. _No nononononono!_

She floors it, as they come closer and closer to a chain fence. At the last second , she hits the emergency brake, and turns the car sideways, tired screeching. They stop inches from the fence. 

She fucking _drifted_. 

“No nope, not anymore. Mairu get in the back seat you’re done. Kururi get up here.” Izaya likes to think nobody can see the tremble in his fingers. 

Mairu laughs. 

Kururi is a much, _much_ calmer driver. Not that Izaya is particularly surprised by this. 

In fact, she’s almost too cautious. Hesitant to hit the gas too hard, taking five minutes to park exactly right in a parking spot. 

Still, it’s better than Mairu’s heart attack inducing lead foot. 

It’s been a couple hours, so Izaya decides its time to call it quits. 

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

They sit at the bar at Russia Sushi, a girl on either side of Izaya. Mairu babbles on about something at school, and Kururi slowly sits closer and closer to Izaya. 

It’s peaceful for once, between the three. 

Though Izaya thinks he may have permanent heart damage from Mairu’s drifting. 

He sent a text to Kine, saying 

“Wow i’m really sorry”

Kine, of course, has no idea what Izaya is talking about and is now in a frenzy. 

But for now Izaya munches on his otooro, and listens to Mairu’s woes. 

Probably the happiest he’s felt in a long time. 

**Author's Note:**

> cupcakke is a queen and you know izaya has to troll the girls


End file.
